Dear Anna,

I’m about to go on maternity leave and am feeling anxious about putting my career on pause. How do I make sure I still feel like part of the team while on leave? I’m also worried about losing my creative spark. Will being on parental leave sap me of creativity, or can it actually make me better at my job? Are the creative industries accommodating  to parents, or is being a working parent a hindrance to progress?

Anon

Dear Anon,

First of all, congratulations. The journey of parenthood can be one of magical madness – a rollercoaster without seatbelts. But, wow, what a ride! 

There are three parts to this question: being on leave, re-entry to work, and the bigger industry picture for working parents. I’ll take these one by one. But before we do that, full disclosure: I’m a parent of two children and have taken two year-long maternity breaks. I’ve had mixed experiences through both and, though I think it’s par for the course, it’s important to note that my thoughts on this are filtered through that lens. I also have a pet theory that Alien is really a film about pregnancy, but that’s a story for another time. 

When preparing for your break, I’d say the most important thing is to give yourself options. That’s because, ultimately, until your small human is here, you can’t really know how you’ll feel, or what you’ll want to do. 

What you want may also change as your life as a parent develops. I know of women who have extended their short maternity leave, cut short long ones, and all sorts in between, which is why there are legal provisions that allow for flexibility. So, work with your manager or team to design ways that will allow you to connect if you want, or to stay totally off-grid.

Your time is yours to shape, but make sure you have the option to reshape as things develop for you

When I went on leave most recently, I outlined the things I wanted to be contacted about (for example, any changes to the team I manage), and the things I didn’t necessarily need to be involved in. So I knew about the big shifts but I wasn’t dragged into day-to-day issues, or pressured into doing work when I should be enjoying my hard-earned leave. 

If you want to be invited to social stuff and be involved in the big decisions, say so. Your time is yours to shape, but make sure you have the option to reshape as things develop for you. 

Know this: whatever time off you take will fly by. Pretty much every woman I know that’s gone back after leave has experienced a discombobulating sense of people not really missing her because to them it’s felt like five minutes. After all, their day to day stayed the same. You’re the one who’s been on an epic journey that’s felt like seconds and millennia all at once.

Which leads to re-entering the workplace. Depending on your maternity leave arrangements, you should be offered ‘keeping in touch days’, which you normally take in the run-up to returning to work. They allow you to reconnect with colleagues and get up to speed. Take these when you’re still within your paid maternity leave, so you’ll be fully paid for those days. Use them for the things you find most useful, and don’t feel you have to take them all in big chunks. Ease yourself back in. 

It might be harder, and you’ll definitely be knackered at various points, but if that’s the case seek out the things you know give you energy

In terms of getting your creative spark back, it might come easily to you. Because engaging your grown-up brain back at work – now you have the working day free from the somewhat mindless loop of naps, feeding, nappies, playing – gives you loads of energy and you’re overflowing with ideas and get really stuck in.

It might be harder, and you’ll definitely be knackered at various points, but if that’s the case seek out the things you know give you energy and help you build back up that confidence. If your superpower is brainstorming, flag to your team that you’d love to be included. If you need to connect and see other people’s work, make time for that. Having said all that, you may even find that you haven’t lost your spark. One thing is true for both work and parenting: you can’t pour from an empty cup, so take care of your own wellness. 

Now to the biggest question you raise: I am a big believer that being a parent can make you a more impactful employee, colleague and creative. It’s not just me who thinks that, either. Studies have shown that working parents have greater levels of productivity (you have zero time to mess about if you’re going to get your work done and make the nursery pick-up), are often better at time management and multitasking (try getting your offspring to put their shoes on while leading a plumber to the leaking pipes), and often have greater levels of empathy (because children are basically giant, frustrating, fantastic emotion factories). All vitally important things in the world of work, particularly creative work.

The evidence of how working parents are treated in any industry doesn’t reflect the return on investment to be gained

And if parents are supported to work flexibly – trusted to do their work and support their families in the ways they need to – then the results can be phenomenal. Data shows that the results from, and retention of, employees trusted in this way is exponentially higher. And don’t we all want that? Personally, I’ve never been more productive than when I worked a fairly strict four-day week, and am still thankful to the MD who trusted me taking that approach. He was reticent at first, because I managed a big team, but I struck the deal on the basis that I’d prove it worked – I did, so there was no question it was how we would do things from there. 

But, depressingly, the evidence of how working parents are treated in any industry doesn’t reflect the return on investment to be gained from valuing and supporting this major part of the workforce. At the most extreme end of the spectrum, it’s why the incredible Joeli Brearley set up Pregnant Then Screwed, which campaigns on behalf of women who have faced discrimination and agitates for real change in the laws around maternity leave, equal pay and flexible working. She is quite literally a modern day hero and has transformed the lives of so many working parents, including me. 

So, while I very much hope you don’t face blatant discrimination on your return to work, I’d say check in on any examples of unconscious bias; in other words, being treated differently in your job because you’re now a working parent. If you experience something that doesn’t feel right, there are a few simple steps you can follow, which are applicable in broader ways too:

Point it out so it’s in the open: “I noticed that…”
Seek clarification so there’s a shared understanding: “Did I read that right?”
Problem-solve with your manager or staff: “What steps can we take to clear this up?” 

Presenteeism has been blown out of the water. Agility is the way forward, and we know it’s a core skill of any working parent

Though the stats that Pregnant Then Screwed share are bleak – the pay gap for working mothers is a smack in the face when we live in the third most expensive country for childcare in the world – I feel hopeful when I see the dramatic changes in working styles we’ve embraced through the pandemic. Presenteeism has been blown out of the water. Agility is the way forward, and we know it’s a core skill of any working parent. So, prepare yourself for a wonderful ride, arm yourself for challenging any dodgy workplace behaviour and, most of all, be kind to yourself.

Being away from your children can be hard, but you’re role modelling brilliant things by bringing back creative energy from work. As the brilliant Tina Fey says, “I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: you go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible – oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.”

Anna

Anna Higgs is head of entertainment at Facebook. If you have a question for her, send it via CR’s social channels, or email [email protected]