Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Little Johnny!
Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny.
Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early.
Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave?
Little Johnny: Yes, sir.
Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
Little Johnny: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn’t have to keep yours.
Little Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Little Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Little Johnny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Little Johnny: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow. “That’s what I did.
Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.
Little Johnny: I hope you didn’t either.
Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Little Johnny: I is…
Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say “I am.”
Little Johnny: All right. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”