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Funny One Liners…
- Facebook: Roses are red, violets are blue, friend requests are awesome, but who the fuck are you??
- Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
- Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
- I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
- You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
- Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
- Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
- Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you are a referee.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
- A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
- Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
- Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
- Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
- Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
- A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
- You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
- It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
- Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
- Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
- Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
- They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
- There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.