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Infinite Curiosity

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Tag Archives: joke

Funny programming quotes

13 Tuesday May 2014

Posted by Grynn in humor, programming

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

joke

“If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.”
-Robert Sewell

s/Java/php|perl|whatever/g

 

“C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.”
– Gavin Russell Baker

 

“If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” – Edsger W. Dijkstra

Lawyer’s Dog

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Grynn in humor

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

joke

From: rickc@pogo.TEK.COM (Rick Clements)

(This joke is from a professor who referred to lawyers as the second oldest profession:)

There once was a dog show to determine the world’s smartest dog. Three dogs were in the finals. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.

For the finals each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could make.

The doctor said, “Stethascope, go!” The dog built a human skeleton.

The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided to give the other dogs a try.

The engineer said, “Slide-rule, go!” (So, its an old joke.) The dog built a suspension bridge.

The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?

The lawyer said. “Loop-hole, go!” The dog ate the bones, got a percentage of all the tolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.

Something expensive that you don’t need….

02 Saturday Jul 2011

Posted by Grynn in humor

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Tags

funny, humor, joke

— heard on the web —

I had a major argument with my girlfriend, Helen. I was in the wrong,
but not enough to back down without an argument.

So after storming away, and cooling off, I had a think. I was clearly
in the wrong and felt pretty guilty, with all the trauma it had caused.
So to make it up to Helen, I said I’d buy her a gift.

"Any thing at all, my love", I said, overcome with remorse.

"Oh, I don’t know", replied Helen,"You really shouldn’t do this you
know. But, if you are, just get me something really expensive, that I
don’t need."

The following day I booked her in for chemotherapy.

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