13 Tuesday May 2014
Posted in humor, programming
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“If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.”
-Robert Sewell
s/Java/php|perl|whatever/g
“C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.”
– Gavin Russell Baker
“If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” – Edsger W. Dijkstra
02 Sunday Dec 2012
Posted in humor
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From: rickc@pogo.TEK.COM (Rick Clements)
(This joke is from a professor who referred to lawyers as the second oldest profession:)
There once was a dog show to determine the world’s smartest dog. Three dogs were in the finals. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.
For the finals each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could make.
The doctor said, “Stethascope, go!” The dog built a human skeleton.
The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided to give the other dogs a try.
The engineer said, “Slide-rule, go!” (So, its an old joke.) The dog built a suspension bridge.
The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?
The lawyer said. “Loop-hole, go!” The dog ate the bones, got a percentage of all the tolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.
02 Saturday Jul 2011
Posted in humor
— heard on the web —
I had a major argument with my girlfriend, Helen. I was in the wrong,
but not enough to back down without an argument.
So after storming away, and cooling off, I had a think. I was clearly
in the wrong and felt pretty guilty, with all the trauma it had caused.
So to make it up to Helen, I said I’d buy her a gift.
"Any thing at all, my love", I said, overcome with remorse.
"Oh, I don’t know", replied Helen,"You really shouldn’t do this you
know. But, if you are, just get me something really expensive, that I
don’t need."
The following day I booked her in for chemotherapy.
